haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize