i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Even my vagina gasped.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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