i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
