Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
