was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
