I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were trust falling into bushes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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