apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
