Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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