Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize