Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
