I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this beer tastes like vomit already
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
