i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
