Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
