You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
