I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
