I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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