She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize