You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
