thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
