It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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