More tranny stories later!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
