I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
