If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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