I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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