Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize