Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
