u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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