Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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(864): View more from South Carolina

She announced her abortion via fbk

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"

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(678): View more from Georgia

part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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(541): View more from Oregon

Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(360): View more from Washington

I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder

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