god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
