i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
