we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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