Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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