no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
