its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I checked into jail on foursquare
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize