He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize