He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
