I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
