It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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