The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
