Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
