I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
