I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
third nipple confirmed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
