Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sorry about my life...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
