nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
