ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
