Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
