I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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