It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
