First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
