i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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