yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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