can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
