my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
