now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
