I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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