There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
