I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
