I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
