What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
